No Toilet Paper? No Problem! | Emergency Wilderness Hygiene
Caught short on the West Highland Way? Or perhaps you’ve reached the summit of Scafell Pike only to realise your supplies are back in the van?
Don’t panic. While we always recommend packing a proper hygiene kit/Poop kit for any trek lasting more than an hour or two, mistakes happen. If you have had an unexpected “emergency,” do not worry, there are plenty of ways to stay clean without traditional loo roll.
In this guide, we’ll explore the best emergency alternatives and the golden rules of “doing your business” responsibly in the Great British outdoors.
1. The “Backpack Staples” Alternatives
Before you start looking at the shrubbery, check your pack for these common items:
Wet Wipes & Baby Wipes: The gold standard for cleanliness. However, most wipes are not biodegradable (even the ones that claim to be). If you use them, you must pack them out in a sealed bag and take them away.
Paper Scraps: Check for old receipts, trail maps (if you know the way back!), paper bags from your lunch, or even a page from your notebook. Give them a “scrunch” first to soften the fibres—your bottom will thank you.
The “Sacrificial” Rag: In a true emergency, a sock, the hem of a t-shirt, or a pair of pants becomes a “family cloth.” If you go this route, be prepared to either bag it and carry it out or bin it at the first opportunity.
2. Nature’s Bidet: Using Water
In many parts of the world, paper is the alternative, not the rule. Using water is often more hygienic and leaves zero waste.
The Bottle Method: Use a sports cap water bottle to create a targeted stream.
The Stream Method: If you are near a water source, you can use it to clean up—but never do this directly in the water. Collect water in a container and move at least 60 metres (200ft) away from the bank to avoid contaminating the ecosystem.
Note: If you use your hands to assist, you must use a high-quality hand sanitizer or biodegradable soap immediately afterward.
3. Foraging for “Forest Tissue”
The UK landscape offers some surprisingly soft options, but you need to know your botany.
The Classic Dock Leaf: Large, sturdy, and easy to find. Just ensure you aren’t grabbing a young Stinging Nettle by mistake!
Sphagnum Moss: Often found in boggy areas (like the Peaks or Highlands). It is incredibly absorbent and naturally antimicrobial. It’s like nature’s sponge.
Large Flat Leaves: Hazel and Sycamore leaves are decent sizes. Avoid anything too thin that might “tear” mid-wipe.
The Golden Rule: If in doubt, don’t wipe. In the UK, we don’t have Poison Ivy, but we do have Stinging Nettles and Giant Hogweed. If you can’t 100% identify the plant, do not let it touch your sensitive bits. If it looks hairy, jagged, or suspicious, move on.
The Rules of Pooping in the Wild
If you’re currently reading this while squatting behind a Rowan tree, follow these steps to keep the UK trails beautiful:
The 60-Metre Rule: Stay at least 60 metres (roughly 80 paces) away from water, paths, and campsites.
Dig a Cat-Hole: Use a trowel or a sturdy stick to dig a hole 6–8 inches deep.
The “Pack it Out” Policy: In the UK, the best practice is to bag your wipes/paper and take them home. If you must bury natural alternatives (like moss or leaves), ensure they are buried deep in the hole.
The Cover-Up: Fill the hole back in with the original soil and disguise it with a few leaves or a rock.
Conclusion
Running out of loo roll isn’t the end of the world—it’s just a test of your bushcraft skills! The most important thing is to leave no trace. No one wants to find a “poop-sock” on their Sunday stroll.
Be prepared, stay hygienic, and get back to enjoying the view.
You might also like: Backpacking Poop Kit article
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